Start Talking

I’ve heard it brought up at a couple of conservative club meetings that people want some coaching on how to start the conversation, bridge the gap and find common ground. If every Republican converted just one voter, we’d double our numbers. Think about that!

Do you ever wonder how to start a political conversation with a non-Republican? In my opinion, the best way to start the conversation is with a question.

(1) The easiest question to start with is, Are you better off today than you were 5 years ago?

(Note: I like to use 5 years because it is a nice round number and people don’t associate with politics. Many people have 5 year plans. Business coaches and life coaches use 5 year goals. Budgets sometimes set 5 year targets.)

Sometimes people will respond with I don’t know. I’m not sure if they really don’t know, maybe because it is such a broad question, or if they just don’t want to say no, but it doesn’t really matter, because I just ask them another question.

(2) Here are some follow-up questions I ask, depending on what I know about them:

Do you work less now than you did 5 years ago?
Can you buy more with your current income then you could 5 years ago?
Do you have less debt now than you did 5 years ago?
Is it cheaper to fill your gas tank now than it was 5 years ago?
Do your groceries cost less now than they did 5 years ago?
Have you been able to take your family on more vacations this year than you were able to 5 years ago?
Do you enjoy more time off now than you did 5 years ago?
Do you feel more connected to those around you now than you did 5 years ago?
Do you feel a sense of community now than you did 5 years ago?
Do you feel your kids are getting a better education now than they did 5 years ago?
Do you feel all kids are getting a better education now than they did 5 years ago?
Do you feel like people in general have more opportunities to succeed now than they did 5 years ago?
Do you feel like you have more opportunities now than you did 5 years ago?
Do you feel like people get along better now than they did 5 years ago?
Do you feel safer now than you did 5 years ago?

I don’t use all the questions each time, just one or maybe two that suit whom I’m speaking with. I try to match their tone. That’s why there are questions above that ask the same thing, but are phrased a little bit differently.

(Note: I use emotional words like enjoy or feel instead of think, because think actually makes people stop and think, but feel doesn’t seem to have the same effect. In response to emotional words, most people just answer from the heart, without stopping to think it through, which keeps the conversation flowing smoothly.)

(3) If they answer no to any of the questions above, in (1) or (2), then my next question is usually one of these:

Then why do you still vote for Democrats?
If they are a Democrat, Then why do you want to be a Democrat?
Then why do you vote the way you do?

(4) If they answer I don’t really know or I’m not sure, which they often do, or That’s just what I am, my next question is one of these:

What do you feel the Democrats are doing for you?
How do you feel the Democrats are making your life better?
How do you feel the Democrats are helping you?

(Note: Again, I use emotional words like enjoy or feel instead of think, because think actually makes people stop and think about it, but feel doesn’t seem to have the same effect.)

(5) If they have an answer to the question I asked in (4) above, then I address that if I can, otherwise I skip down to the questions in (8). If the answer is just I don’t know, then ask the question below that corresponds to the one I used in (4) above:

It doesn’t sound like they’re doing much for you, so why don’t you vote for Republicans?
It doesn’t sound like they’re making your life much better, so why don’t you vote for Republicans?
It doesn’t sound like they’re helping you much, so why don’t you vote for Republicans?

(6) If they respond to my questions in (5) with Maybe I should, then I’ve succeeded.

(7) If they respond to my questions from (5) with I hate Republicans or I hate Trump then I simply ask Why?

(8) If it is an issue that I can address, I address it. Otherwise, I ask:

Is there anything the Republicans do that you like?
Is there anything you like about the Republicans?
Do you feel the Republicans have helped you in any way?
If Trump was their issue, Is there anything about him you like?
If Trump was their issue, Was there anything he did that helped you?
If Trump was their issue, Do you agree with any of his policies?
If Trump was their issue, Do you agree with closing the border or energy independence?

(9) If they answer yes, then I go with my favorite response, Is there anyone in your life that you agree with 100% of the time? Probably not. How about 90% or even 80%? Do you have people in your life that you support even though you only agree with them 60% or 70% of the time? Maybe an co-worker, employee, long-term friend or family member?

(10) If they answer yes, then I ask them:

Who do you agree with the most, Republicans or Democrats?
Who do you agree with a higher percent of the time, Republicans or Democrats?
Who do you feel has done the most for you recently, Republicans or Democrats?

(11) If they answer Democrats, then I go back to the questions in (3) above. If they answer Republicans, then I go back to the questions in (4) above. Or, sometimes I agree to disagree and move on.

The goal is to start the conversation and keep asking questions calmly until you find common ground, which will allow you to explain why you are a Republican and why you vote the way you do. The key is to keep asking questions without getting emotional, angry, judgy, scoldy, mad or upset. Don’t raise your voice or yell. Have you ever changed your mind because someone yelled at you? I certainly haven’t! Most of us dig in deeper when we are scolded or yelled at, just because that is human nature. If you want to have the conversation, have it calmly.

Depending on what topic you land on, sometimes you have to agree to disagree. You can’t agree on everything. Is there anyone in your life that you agree with 100% of the time? Probably not. If you can agree more than 60% of the time, I think you are in good shape, so remember this when finding common ground. When you hit something on which you disagree, agree to disagree, remind them that NO ONE agrees all the time and move on to another topic.

— Jenniffer Lee

If you agree with me on 9 out of 12 issues, vote for me. If you agree with me on 12 out of 12 issues, see a psychiatrist.

— Former New York City Mayor Ed Koch

The content of this page has been written by me, Jenniffer Lee, not the Republican Party, and the opinions expressed herein are mine. The party may be in agreement, but I do not have the authority to speak on behalf of the Republican Party.

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Jenniffer Lee, 7301-A W Palmetto Park Rd #100A, Boca Raton, FL 33433 JenLeeForMe@gmail.com